Spiritual Disciplines

So I started to read Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard again. I have read this book in the past, but never have really stuck to practicing the Spiritual Disciplines discussed within its pages. So for the next few posts, I am going to write about my experiences working through these disciplines and what i learn about God and myself. This blog is mostly for myself. I find something edifying in journaling my experiences, especially ones where I encounter the Creator.

I began practicing the disciplines of solitude and silence yesterday. I set the timer on the stove for 10 minutes. Some monks are silent for years...ya well, im not a monk, so i did 10 minutes. I feel like solitude and silence are kinda like running, you have to work your way up to longer and longer periods of time. You have to develop discipline and stamina. I find that running is very mental as well. Sometimes my body can go much further than my mind allows it to. I think the same is true for silence and solitude. I guess that's why it's called a DISCIPLINE :)

So i decided to read Psalm 10 (since it was 8/10/09) and meditate on it in silence and solitude. It was crazy, and by crazy I mean a "God thing," because just before i turned off my music, Shane and Shane (my go to guys for getting my attitude and my mind adjusted Godward) were singing "Be Near"...and the first line of Psalm 10 says something like "God, why do you stand so far off?" I got on my knees and put my head to the floor. I thought to myself that Muslims really have that right. That position makes you feel like you are so small and weak, helpless and humble before an Almighty God.

My time of meditation began by asking God why he seemed so far from us, from my feelings, from our country, from poverty and sickness, and childhood cancer, and lost people, and and and... why??? God didn't speak to me audibly or write on my wall, but i did feel a sense of closeness...which i guess is an answer. God is not far off, even if we feel like He is, He isn't. He is near, he is our great high priest, our dearest friend, and our bridegroom. Shane and Shane beg God for the same thing I beg from Him: "Be near O God, Your nearness is to us our good." The rest of the ten minutes was filled with meditation. Meditation on God's perfection, His grace, His love and justice. It was sweet time, and i am excited to go to the next level in the discipline of silence and solitude.

Seminary was awesome, but i feel like that nearness left a long time ago. The void was filled with study and half-sincere prayers. I feel like I know more about God than I have ever know, but what is that worth if I dont know Him intimately and relationally. I have experienced burn out and apathy over the last few years. I didnt fight for the closeness i had experienced before. But I am fighting for it now.

This is but the first step i am taking towards devoting myself to getting to know God better through the Spiritual Disciplines. If you are feeling the same way I am, I invite you to begin practicing solitude and silence in order to know God more deeply.